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As a father, you want the best for your baby

 
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Choose your own path – invest in your relationship with your baby


Fathers today have a demanding task. They want to take responsibility for the family, be present in it and carry out their role as a father competently and lovingly. This is a great challenge, and sometimes it may feel overwhelming. Don't stress yourself out with guilt when you reach your limits. You can be sure: you are not the only one feeling this way! In this area of tension, you need to shape your role as a father so it suits you.

It is important that you build up a personal relationship with your baby and an independent style of «fathering».


Your child wants to be close to you and be able to feel you

The more you trust your relationship and your paternal skills, the more you will welcome the intimate relationship between your partner and your child.


Give your child nature's most precious food: breast milk

Breast milk is the best food to give your baby a healthy and strong start in life. Studies show: as a father, you have a big influence on whether and for how long your partner breastfeeds. Use it!

Although everything speaks in favor of breastfeeding, it can also be a challenge for you as a father. You experience your partner in a new role. The closeness between mother and child can trigger feelings of helplessness and jealousy in some fathers. You may wonder where your place is. Many fathers feel the same way. Allow yourself to feel what you feel.

How can you support your partner with breastfeeding?

  1. Get informed about breastfeeding.
  2. Create a calm, safe environment for breastfeeding. You can get involved in "nest building" at an early stage. After the birth, for example, you can coordinate the many visits.
  3. Encourage your partner to breastfeed. The first few days and weeks are often the most challenging of the entire breastfeeding period. Support your partner, even if she is not breastfeeding.
  4. Allow the breastfeeding mother to rest and get enough sleep. This is where you come in: bring your partner the baby to breastfeed at night. Get up yourself when the baby needs a fresh diaper. Take the opportunity to allow the mother to get some sleep during the day, go for a walk or play with the baby.
  5. Offer her support when breastfeeding on the go. Help her find a suitable place (use mamamap.ch). By standing or sitting next to your partner, you can protect her from prying eyes.
  6. Organize professional help in case of difficulties. Call and make an appointment.

Finally: look after yourself and take care of your energy levels

You are in balance when you find time for work, family and yourself (e.g. to cultivate hobbies or friendships). Talk to your partner about your personal needs. With a little patience and generosity, you can achieve balance.

How you can involve the father as a breastfeeding mother

Studies show that fathers have a major influence on whether and for how long their partner breastfeeds. How do you ensure you have your partner's support?

Give your partner responsibility

This starts long before the birth. Tell him why breast milk is the best food for your baby. Also talk about difficulties and fears, hopes and expectations. The more you make breastfeeding a joint project, the more likely it is that your partner will be able to support you.

Breastfeeding is a moment of great intimacy between mother and child. Enjoy it. You don't have to feel guilty if these moments are just for the two of you. But be aware that it can be hard for the father if he feels left out. Make breastfeeding a shared adventure.

Clear communication helps.


Tell him what you need

Parenting is a shared task. Make your partner an ally. Ask for support and assistance. What do you expect from him if you have breastfeeding problems? Should he rub your back and encourage you to keep trying? Should he ask for help from specialists?

It's best if you don't wait until the problem is there to ask these questions. Talk about it before the birth. After all, pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding are also unfamiliar territory for men.

Maybe you think a few weeks of breastfeeding is long enough? Or maybe you want to breastfeed until your baby is a toddler? Make a joint decision about the right duration of breastfeeding.

As soon as breastfeeding is established, you can pump your milk if necessary and give yourself a little space. Leave the feeding with pumped breast milk to your partner.

Allow him time alone with the baby


As a general rule, the more independent your partner's relationship with your baby is, the more you will be unburdened.

Encourage your partner to develop his own approach to caring for the baby. This requires your trust and tolerance if he does things differently than you would. Your partner especially needs time alone with the child. You can be sure of this: if he has the responsibility, he will grow into his role as a father.

Every man takes on his role as a father differently. But all fathers have one thing in common: they only want the best for their child.
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